Again, again, and again

Well, it is happeining again, I am still having this problem. due to the level of complexity, I can't find a solution, and always hoping things would magically change. the issue is that there is a barrier I can't jump over or ignore, if I tried for a secod, it will affect the last few years and many years to come. to the core, I need to reach the level of communication with x that is required to REALLY talk about ashia2. I believe that I need to do that, and sure that the other side may benifit of this. the other side is facing difficult times, I wish I was able to talk it over with x, now I feel that I have /need to talk but I am stuck behind the barrier. this makes me feel mrabat and feels bad because |I can't help this friend.